Sacrifice
by Envious sky
Summary: Eighteen years ago she was told that she could have anything she wanted so long as she made sure to die on her eighteenth birthday. Eighteen years is a long time, so she didn't mind. But when she grows and befriends two boys and the dawn of her eighteenth year draws ever closer, she begins to regret that decision. But even so, her fate is set in stone.


**(22,337 words) This is a oneshot inspired by images that flashed through my head after listening to 'Rabbit Heart' by Florence + the machine...last April...the first to be exact...so maybe kinda sorta...I started writing this on the second of April last year. Took me awhile to finish, I was writing it through most of December. It didn't want to be written. **

**I hope you enjoy, since it was a struggle to get it into existence, sorry it's so long, it wasn't meant to be this long, I was intending it to be more around 15,000. **

**Reviews shall be much appreciated.**

* * *

**Sacrifice**

* * *

**The beginning**

A set of footsteps marched down a grand hall, decorated in golden statues of varying sizes and shapes. The steps were graceful and light; the sound was accompanied by a jingle of gold bangles covering the better half of a young woman's forearms. Identical bangles covered her slender ankles, in a lesser number than of those on her arms. Her feet were bare, painted in red markings. Her toes were entirely red, with swirling wave patterns working their way to her heels. Her arms were wrapped in honey coloured satin, held in place by clasps at her shoulders, which were connected to the collar of her dress. Beneath the satin her arms were painted the same wave pattern as what covered her legs, only this time they were a deep navy. Her dress was a beautiful shade of blue, the colour of the ocean on a perfect sunny day. It was sleeveless with a collar that wound around her neck. It was low at the bust and featured twin slits up the sides, but thanks to the many bangles and painted skin, from far off she'd appear to show very little. A gold sash was fashioned on her hips, the ends partly hiding one of the two slits up the sides. On her neck was a choker encrusted with jewels, on her head a glorious tiara that was like a river's current frozen in place and turned to gold. Along it run jewels that put the ones on her neck to shame, for they shone as bright as the sun. A stunning ruby was the centrepiece, bordered by a ring of white gold. Black and red dye encircled her eyes, emphasising their already existing beauty. The woman bore a set of dazzling violet-blue eyes, and above sat a crown of breathtaking hair only a shade lighter. The hair was longer than the woman was tall; it trailed behind her as she walked.

People eyed her from each room she passed, with varying expressions present on their faces. Some were happy and joyful, others sympathetic and saddened. Some others had anger shining from the fire in their eyes, and nothing more.

Today, she was to die, for the sake of their country, for their world. Her whole life was for this moment. For she was the sacrifice chosen by the high priests eighteen years ago, the day of her birth, to quell the god's anger lest they rise again to wreak havoc as they once did. She dared not shed a tear, for she was born to die, she'd always known that. There was no need to feel fear, anger or sadness; this was her destiny. She knew how horrible it was, so she knew not to feel happy either.

A thousand years ago, This land which she had grown up in had been overrun with gods turned demons who had destroyed everything the mortals had held dear. To make them stop, they'd been promised a maiden of unsurpassing beauty every hundred years. Said maiden would be picked as a child and raised as if they were royalty, no matter how poor their parents had been. They would have everything they ever wanted except one thing, the chance to live past their eighteenth birthday. For that was the day they must die.

Having known this all her life, the maiden had never been scared, and had never had the intention to fight against the fate to which she'd been bound to by chains. Only lately had she thought to run off, escape this land to where the gods could not reach her and only this land would have to pay for their crimes. But she'd been too hesitant, and had let the chance pass her by. Still, this did not upset her to any terrible degree. As she always had with tragedy, she accepted it. Things were meant to be this way.

She would die, and the people would live another hundred years in safety.

* * *

_In the midst of a bustling crowd, wanting nothing more than leave the cursed ground, a mother screamed. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, she cared none to hide them. She wanted them to see her pain, to see the pain of a mother who had ever so cruelly had her joy ripped from her own arms. The moment the priests had pointed to the newborn child in her arms, she hadn't a snowball__'__s chance in hell to save her, her pride and joy, her precious daughter. When the priest stole her right from her very arms, she was no longer her daughter; she would never belong to her again. She belonged to the world, and in eighteen years, she would be their saviour._

_"No! You can't, not my little girl! Give her back damn you! Give her back!" She cried, anger and sadness woven together. Her fists were clenched, nails drawing crimson blood. _

_Passer-by's looked at her with sympathy or contempt. She was a disgusting mess, offering only insult to them all. Her daughter was now the most important existence in the world; she should be proud, not angry._

_The priest watched her with eyes as cold as ice as she tried to push through the dissipating crowd, only to be blocked from coming any closer by guards. She screamed and screamed till she could no longer. As the red sun dipped into the horizon, she fell to her knees, unable to speak, but unable to stop her sobs. She mouthed her daughter's name in an endless circle. The priests and guards left her in the cold, for she was a pathetic excuse of a person who should be thrown out into the wilderness and devoured by wild dogs. Eventually her mother dragged the woman away, back home where she would be forced to forget that she'd even had a daughter, like so many before her. 'If only she'd been born a year earlier' she would say to herself, 'if only our family was not cursed with such beauty'. _

_And people would stare at her like she were a mad woman, for who was she referring to? What child was she talking about? Only the mother, would not forget, and would hold the regret of not fighting for longer for evermore._

**III**

_As a toddler the beauty she would own was already apparent. Her skin was fair and her lips the colour of a strawberry. Her blue hair that ended past her shoulders shone, her eyes a darling violet-blue. She was dressed in elegant gowns for as long as she could remember. Her every wish heeded. She had everything she wanted, and as far as she knew, ever could want._

_When she wanted a friend, one would be given. When she wanted sweets, she was given some. When she wanted to be alone, she would be allowed to, when she wanted company, she would receive it. Simple, childish wants. She did not ask to go outside, for she didn't know there was an 'outside'. She had always known that she was going to die young, but was far too young to understand what dying young meant. Death was not taught to her, and by the time she learnt, she would readily accept it. For she was raised to fear nothing, as fear was a useless burden._

**V**

_At age five she had made friends with a young boy. A brunette child much bigger than she. He belonged to a peasant family that lived close to the temple. He thought she was strange, but a nice kind of strange. She thought he was very odd, and commented on it constantly._

_He thought her hair was amazing. It was like cascading water, a perfect blue that ended at the small of her back. She didn't know it was a complement, and told him his hair was like mud._

_He found it funny, that she thought the temple was a castle. She said she was the princess, and would get everything she wanted as long as she made sure to die when she was eighteen. He didn't find it funny then, and said that it was sad. Why couldn't she be a princess and live a long fulfilling live too? _

_She didn't understand. What was sad about dying?_

_He was the first to tell her about the world beyond, of poverty and starvation. She was surprised, that there were people who didn't get everything they wanted. He said being hungry wasn't nice, she agreed, but he said she didn't truly understand. She didn't understand, he was right about that. Why didn't she understand? What did being hungry for longer have to do with anything? He said she should go outside too, but when she asked the priests they told her it was scary, did she really want to? So she decided to stay at the temple. When they spoke again he tried to beg her to go outside with him, it'd be fun. But she told him it was scary outside, he agreed. How was something both scary and fun?_

**VII**

_At age seven, her and the brunette boy were very good friends. She didn't ask for other friends no more, all she wanted was him. He was getting much__,__ much bigger than her now; she didn't grow very much at all. He said it was funny, she said he was mean. He was still very odd, and she was still the nice kind of strange._

_Her water like hair was now slightly past her waist, he said she was pretty enough that it didn't matter that she was small. She said that if he got tall enough maybe it wouldn't matter that his hair was like mud. She knew what complements and insults were now, and knew when to and when not to make them. She only said that now because it was a joke. It was a joke just for them; she wanted to have many more like that._

_One day he brought a little boy with him, with blue eyes that shone brighter than her own, and short blonde hair that she really wanted to pat, but never did. The brunette boy said that his parents had died, so he was living with him now. She said they were brothers now, but he said 'not by blood'. She asked them since when were family related to each other, but they just looked at her funny and she got confused._

_The little blonde boy started saying the temple was a castle too, which she liked because no one else did. They would play kings and queens, running all around the castle pretending to be royalty that would rule their kingdoms forever more. She would be the queen and the brunette boy the king of a neighbouring kingdom. The little one would be a prince, and she was his mother. She said since he had a mother now, he didn't need to miss the one he lost because she could protect him now in her place. He smiled, but told her he would still miss the one he lost, because someone needed to remember her. If it wasn't him, who would in his place? She was a wonderful mother and deserved to be remembered. She didn't quite understand, but said he was a good son anyway._

_She would talk a lot with the little blonde boy, asking if it was sad when you lose someone. He asked her if it was sad that she couldn't be with her parents any more. She said she didn't know she'd even had parents, but he said everyone did. She was surprised._

**X**

_When she was ten, her hair went to her knees. The brunette boy still said it was like cascading water, and she still told him his hair was like mud. By now, he took it as a complement. The little blonde boy had grown a lot bigger, both of them had. But the little one was still the smallest. He didn't like being called small, but she said that a son should only be taller than their mother when they got to be a big kid, she promised him that day would come no matter how long it took. The promise was something she could share with him, and she liked that. But he said it was sad, because that day might never come._

_In eight years, she would be gone forever. And nothing they could do could alter her fate._

**XII**

_At age twelve, her hair was almost at her ankles. She and the brunette boy were still very close, and the little blonde boy had become a part of her life just as much as he had. If either of them left her, she wouldn't know what to do. Everything would be wrong without them by her side. She was the queen of the castle, and the little one was the young prince, her son as she'd dubbed him. She'd told the brunette, the king of a neighbouring kingdom, that he was her fiancé since they were going to join their kingdoms. But he'd just laughed and said their kingdoms were fine as they were. He was the only one who didn't play the game. He was never as interested in it. But that didn't make her dislike him. He was a wonderful friend._

_One day while playing hide and seek, she hid atop a large cabinet, next to a large grand door. She'd never gone through the door; she was told it led to a balcony. The balcony was connected to the temple, but it was on the outside, and the outside was scary. But that day curiosity had overcome her, and she wanted to see what this outside was like. So she'd climbed down off the cabinet after making sure the brunette boy, who was in, wasn't in sight. She reached up and twisted the doorknob, just as she would for any other door. Slowly and gently she opened it, but was greeted by a bright light. She was confused, until she recalled a memory where she'd been told that outside was much brighter than inside. Maybe it was too bright for someone like her? And that was why she couldn't see. But that didn't make her give up, she was adamant on staying where she was until her eyes adjusted enough for her to see what she was looking at. _

_When that time came, she took in every detail of the sight in front of her. The Balcony was semi-circle, made of light stone. It was decorated with small statues of bronze and leafy plants in blue pots. It didn't hold a candle to some of the places in the temple, but it was beautiful in its own right. But that was not what held her attention. It was what she could see above. Gradually she walked past the door, and into the outside world. She stopped at the balcony's end, and gazed at what was beyond. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen. Above her the sky was a glorious shade of gold, it was endless, it had no beginning and no end, no depth at all. The flaming orb in the sky, which she knew was called the sun was dipping into the horizon. This was what she'd been told was sunset. She was told it was amazing, but this beauty was more than she had ever imagined. The clouds had been turned purple; a fiery tinge touched everything in sight, even her own pale white skin. Below her was a swirling river, surrounded with grass, trees and fields of colourful flowers. To each side of her were villages. This was where the beauty ended, for they were dilapidated buildings made of brown that reminded her of mud. She understood what the brunette boy always told her now. Having to live in places such as that with no choice whatsoever, was sad._

_She lowered her head, sadly. That was how most people had to live, they would be lucky for even a day, to have what she had._

_Distracted from her thoughts by the sound of a giggle, she turned her head and saw two young people standing by the balcony's edge, close to the door. She hadn't even remotely noticed their presence. They were visitors to the temple, as she did not recognise them. They were here to pray perhaps, what for, she wasn't sure. They were of normal appearance, with brown hair and brown clothes. Everyone that came here to pray always looked like that, even her friend's clothes were like that. Nothing of the couple made them stick out, except perhaps the woman's belly. It was large and round, even though she herself wasn't fat. She'd seen a couple of woman visitors with a similar appearance. She wondered what they had to do to end up like that. Since if they were fat, why wasn't the rest of them fat too? The couple looked upon each other with such a bizarre happiness, she wasn't sure if happiness fit it. It was an expression she'd never seen before, and she was sure they felt an emotion she didn't know of too. As she continued to watch the strange couple, she saw the man lean closer, and press his lips to hers. She couldn't understand why he'd do it; it was such a weird thing to do. But she didn't have time to question, for the couple subsequently left._

_She turned back to look out to the horizon, wanting to see all she could before the sun fell behind it. That was until a pair of hands covered her eyes and all turned to darkness. She guessed from the size of the hands that it couldn't be the little one, so she called out the name of the brunette boy, expecting to be correct. In response, the hands were removed and the boy in question moved to stand at her side._

_"This was the last place I expected to find you." He laughed._

_"This was the last place I expected to go." She replied._

_He nodded, and was going to say more but she beat him to the mark._

_"Did you see that couple?"_

_"Yes, why?"_

_"Why was only her belly fat, and not the rest of her?" She questioned._

_She got a weird look in return. "Because she's pregnant."_

_"Pregnant?" She'd never once heard of the word in her life._

_"Yes, Pregnant. It means she's having a baby, they must have been praying for good health." He explained._

_"Oh, okay. I didn't know babies came from people."_

_She was given yet another odd look, but he didn't dare ask her where she thought they came from, the answer would undoubtedly be strange._

_"Did you see what he did?" She asked, still curious over the peculiar couple from before._

_"What he did?"_

_"When he leaned towards her."_

_"Did he kiss her?" He questioned. His tone was all knowing._

_"Kiss?" Yet another new word._

_"Yes kiss, haven't you heard of it before?"_

_She shook her head._

_"It's what you do when you love someone. It's a sign of affection."_

_"Affection? Love? What's that?" He kept saying more weird words, she wished for them to stop, but at the same time wanted him to keep going. She wanted to know all she could._

_"Love is an emotion, an emotion better and stronger than happiness. It's amazing, and few actually get to feel it. But unlike happiness, it's not caused by an object or an occurrence, only a person. Only another person can make you feel love."_

_She smiled. "It sounds nice; I'd like to feel it."_

_As she said this he turned to head back inside, but still he responded with. "I don't think you should, because then that'll be sad."_

_She watched him as he disappeared beyond the half open door, more confused than she had all day. How on earth could it be so sad? When he just said it was amazing?_

_That was the first time she went outside, and a day where she learnt many things. She was sure that something like love was something she would never make sense of. It didn't make any sense at all, how was something happy and sad at the same time?_

**XIII**

_At thirteen years of age, her beautiful blue hair scraped for the floor as she walked. Her form was beginning to turn womanly, a change that had originally concerned her greatly, as she'd thought something was wrong. But after a talk with one of the temple's priests, he'd erased her concern, only to replace it with confusion. He'd used the wrong words, she could tell, and hadn't explained everything. Though he told her what would happen to her, he didn't say why. She'd asked the brunette boy if he knew anything, but he did not._

_She still played her imaginary game of kings and queens, and the little blonde boy still played with her. The brunette boy still didn't join in with them, and even when they weren't playing he seemed distant. She guessed there must have been a reason for why, but wasn't sure how to ask. She had never learnt to deal with problems; there had never been a reason to. She especially didn't know what to do since it was him, nothing had ever been wrong before. She hadn't even known that something could be wrong with him._

_One day, whilst they were playing tag with a few other children who were visiting the temple, in a large circular room near the front of the temple. She noticed that he was not joining in, and instead was sitting in a corner of the room, obscured by a set of expensive looking vases her and the other children were mindful to stay away from. She and the little blonde boy were having great fun playing with the other children, even when they kept tripping her up by stepping on her hair. So she didn't go to him immediately after first noticing where he was. But eventually she went over and sat by him, curious as to why he'd rather be lonely then to have fun. It seemed like the worse option to her, why would you choose it?_

_"Is there something wrong? Is playing not fun anymore?" She questioned, thinking that that was the best way to ask, he'd been doing this for a while now; today was not the first occurrence. _

_He shook his head. "No, there's nothing wrong with playing." He was smiling, but she was sure that he wasn't happy. He wasn't before, and she was pretty sure that the problem hadn't been fixed, so how could he become happy all of a sudden?_

_"But you're not playing."_

_"The game's still not the problem. I just don't feel like playing at the moment is all."_

_"Why not? It's fun." _

_He smiled again, this time because she did not understand, and it was a little cute._

_"I know, I guess I just don't feel like it today." He was watching all the others who were still playing the game, so she followed his sight and watched them too. This went on for a minute or two before she returned her gaze to him. He looked like he really wanted to play, but still he did not. It was strange._

_"Something is wrong?" It was a mix of a statement and a question, she was asking of course, but even she could tell something was amiss. She who knew barely anything about everything._

_"I suppose." He mumbled, barely above a whisper._

_She tilted her head in confusion. "And what is this something?" Perhaps he wasn't going to answer her, but she couldn't see the harm in asking._

_For a while, he said nothing, and then,_

_"I'm sad, I think so at least." In his eyes was a distant look. She felt like he was far away, in a place where she couldn't reach him. And she couldn't stand it. It wasn't right; things weren't like this between them._

_"What's there to be sad about? Did something bad happen to someone you care about?" She had been told that a lot of bad things happened to the people in the villages, it was every bit possible to happen to him and his family too, even though that seemed so impossible an idea to her._

_"Something sad has been happening to someone I care about for a very long time, for longer than we've known each other, and they don't even know it. I want to tell them, but they will think I'm crazy, I want to do something about it, but I know I can't."_

_She wondered what he meant, if something sad was happening to someone, they'd know it right?_

_"I'm sure things will end up alright." She smiled broadly, hoping to make him happy too. She wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to smile and play. He was her dear friend; she didn't want him to waste his time being sad._

_He looked away from her and mumbled, so quietly she had to strain herself just to hear._

_"I only want for things to continue as they are, that's my only wish. Things will not end alright, I've always known that, but for the first time, I can't accept it."_

_She stared blankly at him, still not getting it, but calmed down when he looked back up smiling, genuinely. _

_"Hey, let's play how 'bout it?"_

_"Yeah!"_

**XIV**

_At age fourteen, her cascading blue hair was longer than she was tall. It touched the floor and continued for a length that was as long as her hand. The brunette boy told her it really was like a river now, one that changed course with the wind. Though he continued to say this, like he always had, he stayed distant. She was scared that she was losing him, so every time he commented on it, she would yell back that his hair was like a pile of mud. She wanted him to remember all the fun time they had shared together, hoping that it would bring him back. As of yet, nothing had changed. _

_Some days, he didn't come to visit her. He had never done that, he had come every day to visit her for year upon year upon year. She felt alone without him, and it was eating her up. But she wasn't alone; the little blonde boy always came, every day, without fail._

_He wasn't as little as he had once been, but they shared a height gap of one head. This remained forever an annoyance to him, because he wanted so badly to be taller than the queen, so she kept telling him that one day he would be. It was only right for the son to grow taller than his mother. Every son she had seen come to the temple were taller than their mother, unless they were a child. So she knew it would be so._

_Without anyone to tell them it wasn't so, they fell deeply into their fantasy of being a queen and a prince. In her room, they'd talk about parties they were going to have with the neighbouring kingdoms, except that one that they were waring with. Outside her room, they'd run about claiming that they were fighting in the war, and have other children join in with them, aiming to beat them and take their country for their own. Only neither ever lost. In their world, they were mighty warriors who'd fought in many battles, and had never lost once. When there weren't many kids about in the temple, they'd pretend that they were on a trip to another kingdom, one far__,__ far away. They'd be the first person in a thousand years to have visited the kingdom._

_It was very fun, but something always felt like it was missing. She hadn't even realised it until now, but without the Brunette boy around, everything felt wrong, and that really meant everything. Even waking up was wrong, because she knew she wouldn't see him later. _

_She kept asking the little blonde boy why he wasn't coming anymore, because she knew they lived together. He said he wasn't feeling well, so she was very worried. Whenever the poor people weren't feeling well, they'd come to the temple and pray, usually, they never came back. But the boy said he wasn't sick physically, she didn't understand what that meant._

_The times the brunette boy came to visit grew lesser and lesser, until he rarely got to see him at all. _

* * *

_A few months later, she and the little blonde boy were playing a game of hide and seek with the children of visitors. A little girl with soft brown hair was in, so she ran away as far as she could. Since the temple was very big, the largest man-made structure in the kingdom, they had limited the places they could go. She spotted the little blonde boy and two other boys' dash down a hallway, so she dashed down another. _

_The other children had originally decided that she should be given a handicap, since she must know the temple inside and out because she had grown up here__.__ But a girl half her height had cut in and commented on the fact that her shining blue hair would be noticeable even if it was short. They decided she would have a lot of trouble hiding, and that that was handicap enough._

_She took two turns before coming to a dead end. It wasn't a dead end exactly, for at its end was a large decorated door. But this door led to the outside, something outside the area where they were allowed to go. She had once gone outside, at age twelve, but even so, a certain fear pervaded her when she thought about daring to allow herself to take a step into the light. _

_She looked side to side, and behind her, wondering if the seeker was coming her way, but it appeared they were not. She looked in front of her again, to the door at the end of the hallway, to the cabinet near the end, by the left. Paintings hung up on the wall on the right, paintings that were oddly familiar. It hit her then, the door led to the very balcony where she had first entered the outside world. The one and only time she entered the outside world. She swallowed a lump in her throat. The temple was unchanged since that time, she wondered if that was so for the rest of the kingdom._

_It made sense to her, but she'd been told plenty of times that things did not work the same way as they did in her head._

_So, it made her curious. Without thinking about it, her feet took her to the end of the hallway. Only taking notice when one of her hands rested against the solid wooden door which blocked her from the outside, blocked her from knowing the answer to the question. She bit her lip, doubting whether she should really take the first step._

_She heard some giggling down the hall, it wasn't impossible that the seeker had found her. If she found her, she couldn't take the chance to do this now, and she might lose her confidence for another attempt. Gathering up all her courage, she reached for the knob, twisted it, and pushed the door open wide, slipping through the opening before it shut behind her. _

_Immediately, a painful bright light poured down on her, and she had to lower her head and cover her eyes with both hands. How long she stayed in this position was beyond her, but she was adamant on seeing all there was to see. For that, her eyes had to adjust enough for her to make it all out, even if it hurt to do so. Soon, her eyes had adjusted somewhat, though things were still lighter than they were in truth when she took her hands away, and looked to the sky._

_She gasped, it was the most amazing shade of blue, an endless expansion with no end, for she knew beyond the horizon line there was more of it, and even if you travelled to the end of the earth it would still stretch out in front of you. It was dotted with white clouds that looked like they would be soft to the touch. She was unable to look anywhere near the sun, for it was too bright to look upon for any human she knew. After taking in her fill of the beauty above her, she ran to the edge of the balcony, which was exactly the same as she had last seen it, and peeked over the edge to the world below. The woods she could see to her left were as stunning as ever, but the town that was inhabited by the temple goers, looked like a bigger mess then it had before._

_Her shoulders sunk, the light left her eyes and a frown found its way onto her features. So many people had to live there; it looked like it was falling apart, like something as little as the wind would knock it down. Some houses had lost their roofs, some their doors. Where once there had been patches of grass, there was nothing but dirt._

_She felt so terrible for living in luxury, when so many had to suffer. She had done nothing to deserve the life she lived, the people in town must try so hard to secure their basic need to live, and barely succeed in even that. Alone, she wallowed in sadness for the longest time. Until, much to her surprise, a pair of hands covered her eyes, and blocked her sight._

_"EH!?" She gasped in shock. She had thought she was alone, no, she knew she was alone. Unlike last time, no one had been here, and she hadn't heard the sound of the door opening._

_"Did I scare you?" A jovial and familiar voice asked her, whispering it in her ear._

_Her eyes lit up, and as he took the hands away, she turned around to face him and jumped into his arms. The brunette boy caught her, though only just and with a near stumble._

_He laughed, which made her smile. It had been so long since she'd seen him, and all those times he had been sad._

_"I missed you!" She proclaimed, digging her head into his chest, holding back tears._

_He patted her head. "Same, I'll admit."_

_She released him and wiped away the tears. "Why did you stop coming? I got told you were sick, but not physically sick. I don't know what that means though."_

_He gave her a tiny warm smile, and shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly, I'm regretting I did. My mind keeps reminding me things are going to end soon, and I really don't want that. I thought about it for a long time, and it's really something I can't accept."_

_She nodded, wanting to hear the rest of his explanation._

_"But I realised how stupid of me it was too avoid you. Truth be told, it was hurting me being around you knowing that things can't go on like this forever." He revealed._

_She twiddled with her fingers, and asked quietly, reluctant to let the words leave her lips. "Because I'm going to die right?"_

_He nodded, confirming she was correct. _

_"Yes, because you aren't going to be around forever, we going to long outlive you. It hurt knowing this, but I felt stupid using that as a reason to avoid you, because shouldn't it mean that I should try to be around you for as long as possible. Aren't things happier that way?" What he said sounded sad, but he was smiling._

_She understood what it meant, it meant he was going to start coming again, and that made her ever so happy._

_He sighed, "I feel stupid for staying away for so long. My thoughts went all jumbled and then nothing made sense any more. And half way through that something clicked, and it made me scared to come back here."_

_"Jumbled, clicked?" He was using more weird words. Never making sense. "What do you mean? I haven't heard other people becoming like that. How do thoughts jumble anyway?"_

_"Not everyone has the chance." He answered vaguely._

_"Seriously, what do you mean?" She pouted, hoping for him to be straight to the point._

_He smiled broadly, a kind of smile she had never seen him use, not once through all the years they'd been friends. The look in his eyes was different too, but how so she couldn't say. "I wonder if this answers anything." He laughed, taking into consideration her lack of understanding concerning many things. _

_Whatever he intended to do, she expected it to make no sense to her, only to her surprise, it did. He brushed locks of her water like hair away and leaned in closer, so that their lips met in an embrace. It was soft, and chaste, but brought forth a sensation she had never felt before, one that flowed through her. When he moved away, she stared at him perplexed, her thoughts rushed about to remember what it meant. He said it was called a kiss, if she remembered right, and it was a sign of affection. Affection was when you really liked someone. It's not something you felt towards a friend._

_She wasn't sure how to respond. She thought they were friends, how did he view her exactly? How was he meant to again? She wasn't sure. How was she meant to react? Why did he do it? She was confused. She wondered if this was what thoughts jumbling up meant. She didn't think so, thoughts didn't jumble. That was just him not making any sense like usual._

_Unable to completely register everything, her hands moved to her lips, as if to prevent the sensation from leaving her. It had felt very nice; maybe that was why it was a sign of affection. But still, it had left her very confused._

_He gave her a sad smile, though she wasn't sure what was so sad. "I'm sorry." He said, and looked away. "I shouldn't have done that. But I felt like if I didn't now I never would've, and it would have eaten at me for the rest of my life."_

_She tilted her head; she just thought things were very confusing, not sad. But he was sad, apologetic too. She didn't think making her confused merited an apology; she had to admit it was easy to do. She learnt very little. _

_"Don't worry," She decided to say, hoping it'd cheer him up, she'd seen enough of him being sad. From now on, she wanted things to be happy. She grabbed onto his hands and grinned. He lifted his head back up, and returned it half-heartedly. "It's alright. Come on, let's play with the others._

_He smiled and agreed. He was still sad on the inside though, because she didn't really understand what it meant. Having feelings for someone about to disappear was sad. But she didn't understand that._

_Inside, they found most of the kids had left already, but the little blonde boy was waiting around for her, and was excited to see the brunette boy was with her when she returned. Unable to continue the game, they went inside her room and talked for hours. She reckoned it helped make up for the times where she'd felt so alone, for she was filled with a warm feeling she desperately wanted to hold onto. When it got dark, and the two boys were meant to go home, the little blonde boy begged her to let them stay. Though it wasn't her choice, she allowed them anyway, the priests didn't notice luckily enough. She fell asleep, cradling the little one against her chest like a mother would, and holding the hand of the brunette boy, still wondering what he had meant earlier that day._

**XV**

_At age fifteen her hair was long past her feet, her eyes shown like stars, and she was turning into a beauty challenged by no other. She'd grudgingly accepted the peculiar changes in her, which others had told her made her more beautiful, though she wasn't quite so sure how. _

_The brunette boy no longer missed days, he was around as much as possible, happy as ever. It seemed that he was not letting her being unable to understand the situation a few months back deter him from enjoying what time together they had left. In fact, it seemed to make him calmer around her. She had known enough to eventually figure out that he had said something that was sad, and a part of him regretted saying and doing what he did. So the fact that she had not understood all that it indicated was similar to her forgetting it, and to him that felt like a load off his shoulders. She could tell that something was different about the way he felt towards her through his actions as of late, but he hadn't tried to kiss her or speak of his affections since that day. He seemed to be very reluctant._

_The little blonde boy had not noticed any differences between the two of them, and for him everything was continuing as per normal. He was still the prince, her son, and he was still smaller than her, something of increasing annoyance to him. He wanted so badly to be taller than her, and he was beginning to worry that the day would never come, but she reminded him that all sons became taller than their mothers when they grew up. In his worry he told her he didn't have enough time to grow up in the time that was left. This upset him from the moment he'd allowed it to leave his mouth, so she'd pulled him into a hug in an attempt to make it better._

_He cheered up, but the fear remained ever present._

_What she did to spend her time changed very little, she still played kings and queens, she still played tag and hide and go seek with visiting children. The priests had started to tell her that she was too old to play such childish games, but she didn't understand what they meant. She was still playing them wasn't she? What exactly was meant to stop her from participating in them when she so wanted to, and no one ever bothered to hold her back? Something that had changed from how things usually were was that going out onto the balcony had become a common occurrence._

_She had become deeply interested in the outside of as late, although she was too scared to leave the temple, which was the only place she'd ever known. A middle ground, she decided, was to go out onto the balconies, where she could see all she wanted and still be completely safe on temple grounds. The blonde boy came with her practically every time, the only times he didn't was when he was not present at the temple at the time. The brunette boy however, hadn't once gone out onto one, not since that day he'd kissed her. She wondered if it bothered him, reminded him of something he didn't want to think of. She knew that something about what he did was sad, but she was surprised it affected him to that extent, since him refusing to step onto one was also shortening their time together, since she spent plenty of time hanging out on them._

_The blonde boy picked up on the fact that something must have happened between them, though when he asked her, she was only able to tell him that she didn't quite understand what happened herself. He was content with her answer, and informed her that he'd liked to try and fix things, but he was sure it was something out of his control. She thanked him for his concern any way._

_One night, one of the nights where neither boys returned home, something which was becoming a more than common occurrence, they were sitting on a circle on her floor, eating plain slices of bread she'd taken from some priests earlier in the evening. They'd been talking about their make believe kingdom, something which had become a topic after the brunette boy asked how bad had their imaginary land gotten during the time he wasn't there. The detailed explanation he got as a result seemed to worry him, but he laughed it off. She asked them how their lives at home were like at one point, she was deeply curious about that, she always had been. She knew it was dreadful in comparison to her own life here at the temple. She knew to be prepared for the worse, but the lack of necessities that their families and those around them suffered from was appalling, and in the end she was very shocked by what they told her. _

_They'd gotten off the topic then, no one wanted to continue, here in the glorious riches of the temple, the problems were made all too obvious._

_One of them got to the topic of her lack of knowledge, and for a while, that was the new topic for the conversation. This was until she became too embarrassed over it, everything they talked about was simple she was sure, but didn't make any remote sense. It bothered her, at first she hadn't been aware of how little she knew about the world and what was in it. But over the years it'd been forced to become painfully obvious for her, and now she didn't like it. She tried many times to get the two boys to teach her, but whatever they said never made any sense._

_The night wore on, and soon it was very dark, and they were all very tired. But still, the conversation went on, an end not in sight. The little blonde boy fell asleep after a certain point; his head rested on her shoulder, cushioned by her long blue hair, his soft breathing was stuck in a perfect rhythm. _

_The other two didn't try to rouse him, and talked in quieter voices so they did not risk waking him. The bread she'd taken in the evening was long gone besides the piece in the brunette boy's hand that he did not seem to want to eat._

"_Have you ever thought of going outside?" He asked, during a lull in their talk._

"_I go out onto the balconies." She replied, using that to serve as a yes._

"_No, not the balconies," he shook his head, "Outside, as in outside the temple__."_

_She looked at him like he was crazy. "You know the answer to that don't you? We've been friends for years. It's scary out there isn't it?" She raised an eyebrow as she pulled her knees closer to herself. She made sure she didn't move too much else the blonde boy's head fell off her shoulder._

"_But it's fun too." He grinned, she pouted, as he knew she would._

"_You said that before. I didn't understand, I still don't understand." She frowned, sad and annoyed at her own cluelessness at something she thought must be obvious to anyone else. "How can something be fun and scary at the same time? Going onto the balconies is fun because I know it's not scary. That outside makes sense; your outside doesn't seem to."_

_He grinned again. "Sometimes things can be two different things at once."_

"_No they can't!" She snapped back. "It's either itself or something else. Right?"_

"_Well, yes, but you're thinking about it too seriously." He chuckled. "Have you ever eaten something that both tasted bad and good at the same time?"_

_She looked at him like he was crazy, but then paused to think about it. "Wellll." She drawled, "The priests gave me this drink once when I was sick, and it was really disgusting, but it was really good too, I couldn't stop drinking. I was very confused."_

"_You see what I mean then?" He laughed, with a look on his face that said he'd won. "Things can be two things at once, the outside is like that.__"_

_She frowned, not quite agreeing, but not quite disagreeing either. He had a point, but that still didn't mean it made sense. "So the outside it like something that tastes good and bad?"_

"_It's scary, because there's a lot of dangers that lurk out there, but it's fun, because there's so many places to go, so many things to do. Not everything is scary, I can assure you. Though I can say that not everything is fun either, a lot of things are difficult."_

"_Then why do you want me to go? If it's scary and difficult?" She questioned him, her tone quizzical, it didn't add up to her._

_He smiled, with a melancholy look in his eyes. "Because I think it's something you should do at least once in your life. Leave the temple, even if only for a little while, and go outside. It's like I said, it__'__s fun."_

_Her shoulders shrunk and she sighed. "I'm not sure, where would I go? It's not like I know any places."_

_He smiled warmly, and pulled himself closer to her, so she could see him more clearly in the darkness that had enveloped the room. "From the balconies, you can see the woods can't you?"_

"_You mean all the trees? They look really pretty, in their own weird way."_

"_I went in there a few months ago, I found this spring. Its banks were covered with flowers and its waters shone like starlight. I thought it was really beautiful and unexpected. I wanted you to see it; I think it'd be the most extraordinary thing you'll ever see in your life." He was speaking in one of the happiest tones she'd heard out of him in months, it made her joyful, but what he was saying made her unsure._

"_I…ah…" She stumbled for words, looking down hastily. She didn't want to disappoint him; she didn't want to make him sad. But the answer she wanted to say didn'__t involve any yes's. _

_He frowned, seeming to know what her answer was before any proper words could come out of her mouth. A crestfallen expression found its way to his face, and he sat back in place. "You know I would be with you every step of the way right? I wouldn't let any harm come to you." He was greatly saddened by her negative response, but even so he persisted. _

_She bit her lip, and turned away, so he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. His hands brushed against her cheeks, and before it could even register, he'd swept away the dangling blue strands from her face and stole her lips in a sweet embrace. Her body turned stiff from the shock, she couldn't pull away. When he released her, there were tears in his eyes, and his expression was as if he'd done something horrible._

_He looked down so she couldn't see his face contort with sadness and frustration. With his hands he roughly wiped away the tears from his cheeks, and those still falling from his eyes. "I'm sorry, I…I don't know why."_

_She wasn't sure how she was meant to respond. She was petrified that if she took one wrong step, he'd break. All she knew was, what had put him like this wasn't something as simple as being upset that she wouldn't go outside with him. It was something much deeper than that in fact, something she didn't doubt would confuse her if he tried to explain._

_He did not attempt to speak, and she wasn't sure what she should be saying. So, in the minutes that passed, a deep and heavy silence filled the room, so thick it had a presence, the light snoring of the little blonde boy to them felt quieter than the silence that filled their ears._

_After an unknown amount of time, finally, one spoke up. _

_Looking over at the boy resting against her, the brunette boy asked, "Would you have liked to be a mother?"_

"_I already am a mother." She responded with, smiling. She hoped that doing so would lighten things up. The silence that had gathered had scared her greatly; she didn't want it to return._

_He grinned in response, though it was neither happy nor sad. "I meant for real. To have a child that is really yours, one that you brought into the world."_

_She smiled affectionately, her gaze wandering over the boy using her hair and shoulder as a pillow. "I think I'm fine with things the way they are. He's really a lot like a son to me." She ruffled his hair as she wrapped her arms around his sleeping form. "I love him like a mother would, so since I've already experienced that type of love, why would I want more? Maybe it's even better that way, maybe it's just the same. But I like things as they are. I'm content with them."_

"_So you're fine with never having the chance to be a mother?"_

"_I already told you." She giggled, "I'm already a mother."_

_He sighed, "Of course."_

**XVI**

_At sixteen years of age, her hair was so long that not only was is more than her height, another could wrap their hand completely with its ends. It was like a breathtaking river that existed nowhere else in the world, according to the brunette boy, as this seemed to be his new comment on her hair. And as such, she remembered to reply with a smile on her face that his was still as mud like as ever._

_She had grown steadily taller, but even so, she wasn't as tall as the brunette boy, but she was still taller than the little blonde boy. This was an issue that caused sadness to gather in his bright blue eyes, and caused her also to be saddened by it. She hoped he would grow taller than her before she was gone, as it was how things were meant to be. But his fear of that it will never happen was creeping into her mind now as well._

_Her habit of going out onto the balconies continued as it was, she wasn't going to stop anytime soon, but she wasn't going to attempt to reach something past them. She had no intention to go outside of the temple, even if it was only for a little while, and if it was to go to the spring the brunette boy had found, the one with the flowers and water like starlight. It had sounded pretty, but it was dangerous__,__ she was sure._

_She continued playing kings and queens with the little blonde boy, as always the brunette boy had no intention of joining in with them, so instead he sat back and watched like he'd always done. They didn't really play hide and go seek anymore, there wasn't enough visitors, and plus, the priests had grown sick of her doing it, as they claimed she should have long out grown it. So they were active in getting her to stop it. She couldn't even play kings and queen everywhere like she wanted to; she was reduced to playing it only in her room._

_When she asked the brunette boy how on earth was she too old to play games, he'd told her that usually only children did, young ones, he added in, knowing that she was aware that you were considered an adult at eighteen, not sixteen. Adults had other things to do, though she knew that she was unable to do those same things. And apparently the older kids would always help them, only she had no one to help. She had no parents, and it wasn't as if the priests needed her assistance, they were fine on their own like they always were. It seemed a silly idea for the priests to not allow her to play, she didn't have anything else to past the time with, what did they expect her to do?_

_One day, whilst coming back to her room from the balcony -the blonde boy had not joined her today as she'd left earlier than he'd came to the temple- she ran into the brunette boy sitting on a window sill. He was staring off into the distance; it appeared he had not noticed her presence. She walked a tad bit closer, but still his gaze remained on the woods outside, his expression forlorn. She concluded that unless she made a noise, he wasn't going to notice. So she poked his arm and asked, _

"_How long have y__ou been there? You were late today so I went out onto the balcony by myself. What held you up? And why are you alone?"_

_He'd initially been shocked by her sudden appearance and had flinched, a movement which had near made him fall off the sill. But by the end of her sentence, he'd calmed down and was perfectly still, looking at her with an unreadable expression._

"_I haven't been here for long; the priests said they weren't sure where you were, so I assumed you were on the balcony. I decided to wait instead of finding you." He answered, though it only answered half her question, she wasn't sure he noticed this however._

"_And why were you late? And alone for that matter?" She repeated the second half of her previous question, hoping that this time around she'd actually get the answer for them_

"_He hurt his foot, so he was told not to walk on it. It's not that bad, he'll be stuck at home for a week at the most. He really wanted to come today, I promise you that. He was so disappointed he couldn't."_

"_He hurt his foot__?" She raised an eyebrow, before leaning against the wall by the window. "How'd he do that?"_

"_When we were walking back home last night he tripped over a rock. Now it's all swollen and the like. Nothing permanent, I can assure you."_

"_Well, I hope he gets better." She turned to walk off, thinking he'd follow her, but after taking a few steps, she turned and noticed he remained on the sill._

"_Um, are you coming?" She tilted her head as she questioned him, something was off._

_He was back to gazing out the window, to the woods below. "Will you really never come with me to see it? I'm not asking to go for a long time; just a short while is enough. Don't you want to go outside at least once, you'll never know what you're missing if you don't."_

_She frowned; he was yet to give up on the idea of her coming outside with him. He always stressed that it'd only be for a little while. But even so, her answer was still the same. _

"_If it's something scary and difficult, what's the point?"_

"_What's supposed to be difficult about visiting a spring?" He asked, looking at her, searching her face. "What is difficult is in the village, not the woods. And you'll have protection, so it won't be scary either."_

_She groaned in annoyance, he was trying everything to get her to go with him. He was obsessed with it now. "If I go with you will you drop this?"_

"_Of course." He replied instantly, no doubt in his voice. "I'm only asking for one time."_

_She looked away, "I knew you'd say that." She sighed sadly, and walked off. This time however he followed her back to her room, instead of staying upon the sill._

_The following five days went by without incident. The blonde boy did not come; he was still healing, so it was just the two of them. It was a strange experience; suddenly they were back to a duo, and not the trio she knew so well. It'd been years since it'd just been them. As he wouldn't play kings and queens with her no matter how much she begged, they were reduced to nothing but talking. She was fine with this, as he made no mention to leaving the temple, and he tried nothing either. She supposed he wouldn't dare to, since most of their talks occurred in the halls of the temple, not locked away in her room. _

_It was nice the week they spent together, it was like everything had gone back in time, to a time long lost, one she wished desperately to have back. One where there were no cracks in their relationship. Where everything was perfect._

_However, it was not possible for it to continue onwards forever, no matter how much she wished it._

* * *

_One, warm golden afternoon, she was leaning on a window sill in one of the temple's many halls, gazing at the glorious setting sun as it disappeared beyond the horizon. He sat close to her, against the wall with his legs crossed. They'd been talking for hours in this very spot, but now things were at a lull, and they spoke very little. Both were in a state of complete calmness, which it would seem could not be invaded. Outside the window was a perfect view of the woods he'd spoken so many times of visiting. Perhaps this was what spurred on the change of the conversation_

_They'd been speaking of the little blonde boy previously, for she'd been wondering how he was faring, she'd never gone for such a time without seeing his face. But this all changed when the boy spoke aloud his thoughts._

"_I'm never going to get you to go with me, am I?"_

_She twisted her head, and looked down at him, confused. "I'm sorry, what?" She hadn't understood what he was referring to; she'd been too far off into her own world, transfixed by the sunlit sky._

"_I said I'm never going to get you to go with me, to the spring I mean." He repeated and clarified, in case she still didn't understand._

_She frowned and looked away, fiddling with stray strands of hair absentmindedly. "Of course you'd say that." Though it may have sounded otherwise, this was something she said to herself, and not to him. Her next sentence however was directed at him, posed as a question, one she'd already asked many times before. Like if she kept asking it, someday the answer would be different._

"_What will it take for you to stop this idea?"_

"_For you to go with me." He answered the same as it had always been, ever since the first time he'd told her what he wanted her to do._

_She smiled. A gloomy smile. "Things aren't going to change are they?" You'll always say it won't you?"_

"_Until the day it becomes reality. And then we'__ll see how things are from then on out."_

_She smiled, one that was ever so slightly more on the happier side. "You're so serious about this aren't you?" She had to force back a giggle which had found its way to her throat. He was being amazingly stubborn about it._

"_Of course I'm serious. I think you should be granted the gift of seeing something beautiful once in your life. Since it's so short." His tone went hand in hand with his attitude to the whole situation. It was dead-set serious._

_She grinned, "But the temple's beautiful isn't it? And so is this sunset. It's amazing the way it changes everything it touches, before disappearing like it was never there in the first place, only to reappear for another day, without fail every single day"_

"_I mean something other than the temple, though I can agree with you about the sunset. It is lovely, but there's more to the world than manmade objects and a big glowing ball in the sky. Shouldn't you at least once get to see what I'm talking about?"_

_He stood up, and grabbed her hand so she was forced to face him and look his way. But when he'd accomplished what he wanted, he didn't let go of her hand. _

_She sighed and shook her head. "Yes, certainly very stubborn." She mumbled with a tiny chuckle, to herself and not to him._

"_Come on, I'll be with you every step of the way. It'll be fine, there will be no dangers."_

"_You've said that a million times before you know. But how on earth would we even get out of the temple? I'm not allowed to leave even if I did want to." She raised an eyebrow, wanting to see how he'd react to this. It was a flaw in his plan._

"_There are other doors, and each is tiny and half aren't even guarded, and the others only are at certain parts of the day. All we have to do it find an unguarded one and hope to dear god that we find the same one when coming back."_

_At this, she really did laugh. "Wow, you've certainly thought this out haven't you?"_

_He joined in with her, though somewhat less jovial. "Of course, I've had a year to figure this all out. I even know a path to the spring from the temple. It's not very far at all."_

_She laughed again. "I think you've officially lost it."_

"_No I haven't, I think the priests are the crazy ones. Lots of people are crazy, but I'm not, I'm the sane one." His jovial tone was switched with a peculiar one that mixed together happiness and irritation. She knew this was not directed to her, and couldn't help but think his words had a deeper meaning. But she was in no mood to pry right this second._

"_Okay, okay, you're not crazy. But this itself is crazy."_

_He shook his head, smiling again; the peculiar mood from a second ago had vanished into nothingness. "No, I think it's perfectly logical. You deserve something good in your life; you haven't got much left, so why not spend it in the best way possible?" His grip on her hands tightened, though not so much that it hurt. In his eyes was a spark of sadness. "Please?"_

_In that moment, she was overcome by an immense wave of sadness that covered her heart. He hadn't wanted this for himself; it wasn't something he himself wanted. He sincerely wanted to give her something good, before it was too late to do so. And she'd denied this and tried to ignore him._

"_If I say yes, then this'll stop, and everything will go back to normal?" She enquired, her tone in the same questioning one it always was, only this time she wasn't questioning him, she was just stating it. Having accepted the truth._

"_Of course."_

_She bit her lip, almost annoyed at herself for her answer. "Then yes, I'll go."_

_His face split into a broad smile, and he pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, you'll be glad for this, I assure you."_

_She smiled back, unsure what she felt about this._

* * *

_They left right away to find an exit. The tiny doors he'd mentioned were not guarded at sunset, any of them. They found one without relatively any trouble, and snuck out through that. He led her through the darkening field that separated the woods from the temple. She wrapped her hair around her hand and held it up so it caused her no trouble. She was transfixed by the ground, staring intently at the grass moving in the wind. She jumped each time her bare feet hit the ground, surprised and scared by the new sensation of cold grass underneath her feet. _

_The brunette boy found it difficult not to laugh, but he held it in, for her sake._

_When they reached the woods, she was forced to look forwards, so she could see where she was going and not trip over anything. She gasped at the sight of the trees, at their gargantuan size. He said that they were rather small for how big they can get, so she called him insane. It just wasn't possible for the giant monsters to get bigger, she was sure, because they were already so incredibly huge. _

_They reached their destination in a short while under half an hour. When they got there, he moved out of her way so she could see the sight. She gasped, louder than she had at the trees. It was the most fantastical sight she'd ever seen._

_The spring was relatively small, about the size of the pond she'd seen in a courtyard at the temple which she had spied through a window, for she'd never stepped into its bounds. The water was shallow at the edges, but deepened as it got to the middle, to a depth she was sure would make her sink under the surface. This made her curious, she'd never seen water act that way, but she supposed that was how it usually was. The water was a dark colour, but its surface was exactly as he said. It sparkled with even the smallest amount of light on it, which at the moment was the slowly disappearing sun which had given everything else a light purple hue. The effect the falling sun had on the flowers was amazing. They were the prettiest she'd ever seen, they covered the ground from the bank to where the clearing ended. They were muted shades of pink, purple, yellow and blue, but the existing hue cast on them gave them a warm feeling that flooded her._

_She was at a loss for words. He'd said it was beautiful, but she'd never seen anything like this before, she wasn't sure how she was meant to respond. The brunette boy was smiling at her, trying not to laugh at her most perfect reaction. She did not notice this however, until he strode forward to the water's edge and dipped his hand into its depths, swishing it around. She could see the corner of his grin._

"_Takes your breath away doesn't it?" He asked, this was meant as a joke, since when he'd been standing by her side he noticed her attempting to speak, and it'd made her look like she couldn'__t breathe properly._

_She picked up on this and sent him a look, ignoring the fact he was not looking at her, but at the water, and would in fact not see it. She tip toed forward, wary of trampling the colourful flowers, and sat by him on the bank, in a spot relatively flower free. _

"_It's amazing though." She chuckled. Feeling stupid._

"_What had you so reluctant to come?" He enquired, seeing how she felt. Perhaps she regretted putting it off._

"_I'm not sure. Scared perhaps. Maybe I like everything being the same, things have a habit of not changing for me. They remain as they always were."_

_He looked her way, his face a picture of curiosity and sorrow. "And you're fine with that?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders. "To be honest, I'm not sure; things have always been the same. I don't know what they'll be if they were different. How can I like something that I don't know? I guess that makes me content with how things are."_

_He turned away, looking over into the shining water, as she dipped her feet curiously into it. She found it was tepid, not freezing cold as she'd expected. She was told the ocean was positively freezing, so she'd thought the spring would be too. It was a pleasant surprise._

"_Hey, what if things were different, but in a good way, that was beneficial to you?" He spoke up after a minute of silence._

"_Beneficial?" She'd heard the word a number of times, but its meaning currently was eluding her._

"_Beneficial, as in good, positive. Something that's helpful to you." He explained._

"_Ah, thought so." She nodded, and__ then got to thinking of an answer to his question. "Hmmm," she hummed in thought. "I'm not sure what I'd think, what are you referring to exactly anyway? What would help me?"_

"_Like something changing, so that you won't die in two years from now." Any light feelings in their conversation dispersed, and now was replaced with a stern seriousness. He'd not just been asking out of curiosity, he'd been asking because it was something he wanted to happen._

_She stared, shocked, for a second or so, before in distress she averted her eyes, not wanting any longer to look into his eyes. They were full of a pointless determination; she knew would get his hopes up. Her mouth went dry, and she was unable to voice a response. She choked on her words as they climbed painfully up her throat, only to be blocked by an impenetrable wall and fall back down. _

_When she chanced to look back up, the look in his eyes remained unchanging. She bit her lip, and with much force stated. "No matter what you want, or what anyone wants; my sacrifice has been set in stone. It has been from the day of my birth. Nothing you can do will change it."_

"_I don't care; rocks can be broken and altered by human hand. That's fact, that bloody temple you've grown up in is testament to that fact. Why should i__t be different in the way you mean it?" He sounded desperate, she'd never noticed, but what he wanted most was for her to survive, and he was willing to do anything he could to stop her death._

_Again, she averted his desperate__,__ serious stare, for she was unable to stomach it. Did she want to die? No, she didn't, that was certain. Did it bother her that she was to die young? She didn't know. She was raised knowing she wouldn't be long in this world, it seemed so normal in her mind. Did she fear it? Did it worry her? Did she hate it? Was she willing to accept it, and leave behind the two boys she'd spent her life with? No doubt leaving them to fall into a depression they'll suffer in for the rest of their lives._

"_You can run off you know." His words broke her a__way from her thoughts. _

_She looked up at him, like he'd gone mad. "No I couldn't, you know that. I was reluctant to leave the temple just for this, how could I leave it to go to a place I don't know about, never to return. Where on earth would I go anyway? My appearance makes it obvious who I am."_

_He did not reply to this, but was clearly very upset for her to reject his idea. _

_There was a pause following this, where something hit her, something which she needed to voice._

"_Once upon a time, you told me that__ someone you knew was having something very sad happen to them, and they didn't even know it.__" A sad glint appeared in his eyes at the mention of it, she ignored this and continued. "__It'd been happening to them for longer than you'd known them, and there was nothing you could do about it. Though you really wanted to do something. You just wanted for things to stay the same; that was your only wish." He looked down, as did she, they both knew what she was going to say next. "When you told me, I didn't understand, I think a lot of it was because you were saying it to me. I thought you were talking about someone I'd never even met before, and now I feel so stupid about it."_

_Her breath hitched as a tear slid down her face. "You were talking about me weren't you?"_

_He frowned, and nodded. "Yes."_

"_And I was such a clueless idiot about it, I didn't realise. You must have been in so much pain. I must have made it worse by being so oblivious."_

"_No don't…!" He yelled, not finishing his sentence. He didn't want her to blame herself. It wasn't her fault. His hand brushed away a tear, but kept it against her cold cheek even after it was long gone. She didn't bat his hand away, for if she did, she couldn't have picked a worse situation to do so._

_She understood what he meant, and nodded, a most peculiar smile gracing her pink lips. "This is sad, isn't it?"_

_He did not reply, he did not move._

"_I'm going to die young, and leave you two behind. There's nothing that can be done either. You'll probably both blame yourselves for not trying anything. For not trying to stop it when you should have.__"_

_He didn't reply to this, but he looked at her, with an expression that was barely legible. It mixed together pain, sadness, frustration, anger, and bliss. But most of all was a look in his eyes she'd only seen once before, on a balcony one golden afternoon, many years ago. An expression sent between a couple she'd always thought were so weird, but she was sure they were normal to most everyone else._

_The words sprung unbidden to her lips, and before she even registered she was speaking, she'd already said it, and the result was already seen. "Do you love me?"_

_His eyes went wide, and he seemed taken aback, though not as much as she expected. He calmed down, and the strange look in his eyes returned, this time it mingled with sadness. "Yes, I love you." He said it easily, something which she had not expected out of him. But something even more unexpected was when he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, so that her head rested on his shoulder. Her eyes went wide and she gasped, so stunned she was unable to do anything about it._

"_Do you?" He asked vaguely._

"_Do I what?" She asked back._

"_Do you love me?" His tone was fairly light, but she knew this was something to be taken seriously. Even so, she couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter, and at the same time, burst into tears. She didn't know what to think, she found it strange, and sad too. She supposed that was right because why would she be crying then?_

_In the middle of a sob and a chuckle she remarked, "But I thought you were the one who said it'd be sad if I did and I shouldn't!? What is going on here?" The words jumped out of her mouth. At first, she panicked, thinking he'd be insulted by them, but instead he smiled warmly._

"_I know I said that, but back then, I didn't expect to grow feelings for you anywhere down the line. And after I did, all I wanted was you to feel the same back. I felt bad for it, I really did, but I wanted it so bad." At this point, he joined in with her in her bizarre laugh crying, though to a lesser extent of weird. For he was barely crying a single tear, and for the most part was merely laughing at the idiocy of it all._

"_So, do you?" He asked, referring to her feelings._

_She giggled, "I still don't understand it you know, you made no sense when you explained it. I think I get what you meant by it being sad and amazing though, but it's still weird. I like everyone; I just know that I like you two the most. But I don't know if it's crossed the line of like to reach love. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm meant to feel."_

"_Well, it's meant to be brilliant." He replied, in a light tone._

"_That's too vague!" She complained, laughing loudly. "I still don't get it!"_

"_Amazing then."_

"_That's the same!" She giggled, shaking her head; he was toying with her now. _

_She expected him in the moment following to make more vague descriptions of how she was meant to feel if what she felt was indeed love, but instead he leaned in closer and kissed her. She didn't push him away, and he didn't draw away in self-directed annoyance at his actions. He wrapped his arms fully around her, so she wrapped her arms around his neck. The kisses were passionate, expressing all his wants and what he'd held back. At some point, they'd ended up on the ground, sprawled onto the flowers only a little while before she'd been mindful of crushing. In the time they'd been talking, the sun had sunken below the horizon and it'd gotten dark, cold to go with it, so she clung to his warmth. _

_She was unsure of her feelings, unsure of why she was doing this, but regardless, she hardly wanted to stop. Each touch sent wondrous sensations rocketing through her, they released only for much needed air, before going back for more. After a time she was unable to comprehend, they released each other, and lay on the grass, catching their breath, laughing at each other for reasons they weren't sure on._

_They spoke very little after this, and fell asleep, right there, in each other's arms. Surrounded by a field of pastel coloured flowers, the tall trees that had shocked her so, and the sparkling spring that glowed white in the magnificent starlight, illuminating all it touched, including themselves. _

**XVII**

_At the age of seventeen, she'd grown into a striking beauty. Her long cascading blue hair had grown to an unbelievable length, which trailed after her as she walked. Her bright blue eyes seemed brighter and prettier than ever, her soft pink lips accompanied them perfectly. She was tall and slender; possessing the perfect body shape._

_And an air of uneasiness had gathered in the past year, one that was now to the point it was insufferable. _

_Out of her friends, she'd been the last to pick up on it, for she was the only one not causing it, and lacked the ability to instantly understand. The priests had been in a good mood for the past couple of months, no doubt because soon the sacrifice would occur, and things would then on be great. It was something which had blocked her from seeing the obvious. After each sacrifice, the land went through a time where everything from food to riches was plentiful, however this only lasted a short time. It was a tool to make sure the humans offered the demon gods their sacrifice. Though, only a few were excited by this. Others were disgusted that such a beautiful, harmless and young woman would have to be killed in order to achieve this. _

_She was being given looks of pity and sympathy where ever she went. It was becoming difficult to take, because she didn't want to have to be constantly reminded that soon she would be forced to leave her friends behind in a world that she doubted would be kind to them. Her two friends seemed to be taking things worse than she, who'd always been prepared for this. The brunette boy walked around refusing to look at anyone else; because he knew he would see those stares, the stares that were like a thorn through the heart. They meant that in less than a year, everything would end, an old friendship, his love's life. Everything that truly mattered to him. _

_He was taking it the worst, he'd asked again and again for her to run, but so far he had no answer. She'd indulged him and returned to the spring in the woods a handful of times since their first visit. None had ended like the first, but she knew it calmed him to return there, where no one could interrupt, and they needn't be reminded of reality._

_The little blonde boy had gone oddly silent; he only ever spoke in her room, or on one of the balconies. She still went out on them from time to time, but nowadays most of her time was spent in her room, where the three of them would talk. He hated the stares as well, he'd even gone off at a passer-by who'd been given them one for a good five minutes. It'd became too much to take, though no one could understand his side, and people had stood up for the woman who'd been in the wrong. The argument that arose from this ended with him being hit and slammed into the floor. The brunette boy had noticed by this point and had taken him away, so nothing more could happen. He was now extremely reluctant to step out into the hallways, and the times he returned home went from little to practically none._

_Neither boys liked leaving the temple, the only reasons they did was because they'd been away from home for too long or because a priest caught them in her room late at night and forced them to leave._

_He was also deeply upset that time really had run out. She was still a good bit taller than him. He knew that she'd die before the opportunity to grow bigger than her even existed. He'd always known it, it had just been a stupid childish wish, but in the end she'd made him believe in it. It was deeply upsetting to know he'd been right all along._

_One day, in an attempt to cheer themselves up, she and the little blonde boy were playing kings and queens in her room, deep in a talk about what to do about the trouble a neighbouring kingdom had caused them. War was in the foreseeable future, and they were pondering how to stop it before things got that far. _

"_We can ask Frushia to help. They have before." He pointed out, whilst twirling a jewelled earring attached to a broken off piece of a lamp, which had long since served as a sceptre._

"_Yes that is an option, but Frushia has had to deal with the winged plague, they've only just ridded the country of it, their numbers have significantly dwindled. I hear their army men were very hard hit. They'll be no help to us-__" Behind__ them the bedroom door opened, instead of finishing what she was saying, she chose to see who'd entered._

_Unsurprisingly it was the brunette boy, who walked past them, stepping on the bed sheet she was wearing as a cape, and crashed onto her bed. He was visibly tired. Concerned, the other two went to question him, but they were stopped when he spoke up and questioned with a most quizzical expression, _

"_The winged what?"_

"_The winged plague." Both answered at the same time, like it was the most normal thing ever. "It's a deadly disease carried by birds originating from the Onin district in the country of Lamenka." She explained. "Animals aren't affected, but it reacts badly to humans, and makes them all swell up, and possibly die._

_Though they looked at him like he was crazy for being confused about it, he looked at them like he'd just walked into the asylum for the insane. "I think I'm glad I never got sucked into this game of yours." He shook his head, baffled and troubled about the amount of details their fake world had._

_They both smiled at him for his reaction. _

"_I think we should be glad we never told him about the thousand year war between Lamenka and Assshi." The little blonde boy laughed._

"_Ooh!" She piped up excitedly, "Or the royal family of Vara!"_

"_That's a good one, why didn't I think of that!?__"_

"_Well, you've always liked that war, I know, it was a good one. It changed so much no one could even remember why it started anymore."_

"_Do I even want to ask?" The brunette boy sighed, half just because he wanted to point out what he was hearing was insane, and half because it needed to stop._

_They stopped and burst into laughter. Genuine laughter for the first time in a long time. The tenseness that been developing around them had ruined their days together, but in this moment, everything was perfect. So he was content to stay quiet and let it continue. He'd never had interest in their imaginary world, but he liked that it made them happy when nothing else could._

_When they'd calmed down enough, they leaned on each other and caught their breath. The little blonde boy threw away the fake sceptre, and she removed the bed sheet from around her shoulders and threw it on the bed, atop the brunette boy who had to brush it away from his face. _

"_You looked tired." She commented. "I thought you could do with some sleep."_

_He half attempted a smile. "Thanks I guess." He said as she sat by his head, the little blond boy leaned against the bed itself._

"_Why a__re you so tired? You went to bed earlier than us, and woke up later too." She asked, worried._

"_Ah, same reason as always." He said this, though no one knew the answer._

_She hoped she would get it soon._

* * *

_A few weeks later, she was strolling down the halls alone. There were very few visitors today, so she didn't have anyone looking at her, which was very calming. She wasn't aware where the brunette boy had gotten off to, and the little blonde boy was in her room asleep because they'd gotten very little sleep the night before. They'd stayed up talking. She herself was oddly awake, and bored too for that matter, which was how she got to strolling around the temple halls. She didn't have any place in mind, so she wandered about aimlessly, barely thinking anything, simply letting her legs move her robotically around the corridors._

_After what could have been anything between ten minutes to an hour, as she'd been too off in her own world to tell, she overheard loud noises coming from a room nearby. Curiously she tiptoed in its direction. She found it was coming from one of the rooms the priests prayed in, rooms specifically made for them. They were deemed as the most sacred of places, no one else but a priest was allowed to enter. And yet, in the middle of the room, was the brunette boy, deep into a heated argument with all three of the priests present. Initially she'd thought it was because he'd stepped foot into the room, however, after listening for a while, it seemed he was the one who'd started this argument, not one of the priests._

"_How dare you say that!?What gives you the right to say such a thing? Why does a peasant think he can call us temple priests insane?" The priest in the middle, who'd spoken, was short with deep brown eyebrows and a shaved head; his brown eyes had a reddish tinge, and pieced all they landed on. She found them intimidating, but it seemed they had no effect on the boy._

"_Peasant or no, I'm the only one thinking logically here. If it's been a thousand years__,__ how do you even know these so called demon gods exist?_

"_And how do you know they don't? What has made you all knowing? We are grand priests; we are the connection between us lowly humans and the great gods above. We pray to them daily, and they return our prayers with gifts of prosperity."_

_The brunette boy scowled at them, at the words they chose to use against him. "Prosperity? What prosperity are you talking about? Have you even seen the state of the village? Our houses are falling apart! Our people are dying of sickness daily; no one can get enough food to sustain their families. Is this the prosperity you are talking about? If so, how deluded are you people?" He screamed at them, his voice having risen with each sentence._

_The priests returned the scowl he sent them, all together the three of them made a scary sight, with their faces ominously lit by fiery candle light. The one on the left, a tall man with light grey eyes that gave him the look of a blind man, answered for the three. _

"_Of course, all the prosperity the gods have given us has dwindled away. It returns every century in exchange for their sacrifice. If no sacrifice is made, our luck will continue to dwindle until there is none. And then, with no food and no warmth, we will all die. When she dies in a few months from now, they will shower us with gifts, our sick will be healed, you peasants will receive what you need to remake your homes, and food will be plentiful. Don't you want that? Don't you want to live in such prosperity?" He started out harsh, but his tone had lightened so that he was now speaking in a calm tone, trying to convince the younger to see his way._

_The brunette boy's expression did not change, it was like stone; the wind could not change it. "No, I do not care for that."_

_The priests looked at him like he was a mad man, and perhaps, they were to go on about their reasoning's, but they were interrupted. _

"_If she has to die for that to be achieved, then I do not want it. What kind of mad man would accept gifts, if he knew they were bathed in the blood of the innocent?"_

"_All the other peasants seem to be content with it." The priest who had not yet spoken remarked. "So why can't you?"_

"_Because they know they can't do anything about it. It's what makes me different to them. Even if it's impossible in the end, I still want to try, and nothing you say will make me give up."_

_They glared at him, sending daggers into his heart with their dark eyes. He was a blaspheming fool. An idiot if there ever was one. They were deluded by their own truth, not able to understand his words in the least. "It is not up to us whether she lives or dies, it's up to the gods."_

"_And as I said, how do you even know they exist? Can it be that these so called gifts of prosperity are a m__ere coincidence? And how do you even know that after each sacrifice has been killed, that things really were better? None of you were born last time one was killed, and you certainly weren't for the ones before that. Perhaps things were better when you were younger, but that can be explained that perhaps you were going through a better time then, times like that go in a loop, and that loop doesn't take a hundred years. I can recall from my earliest memories that things were as bad as they are now, and yet, from memories not so long ago, everything was far better than this. It takes a couple of years for things to get better, not a hundred, and it has nothing to do with the sacrifice. The only reason no one else has truly noticed this is because you are shoving your beliefs down their throats!" He screeched at them, all his anger filled each sentence, each word, to the brim._

_The three priests stared at him, at a loss for words. Everything he said had gone against the beliefs of their religion. He had spat on their beliefs. Insulted the grand priests like they were no better than animals. And they were appalled._

_Finally, after a moment of stuttering and shocked faces, the one with the brown eyes that had a tint of red in them, found his voice. "Get out of here your blaspheming fool, you disgust me, out, OUT, one more word out of you and you are banished!"_

_The brunette boy scoffed at them, hardly caring for their words. "If you do that I'll take her with me, and let you suffer for your mistakes." He spat. He turned on his heel and headed for the door, only to find the person who'd been the topic of the conversation, was leaning on the door, peaking in curiously._

_At being noticed, she jolted and got out of sight. The priests turned away, hoping not to be seen as bad, the brunette boy looked wretched as he lowered his gaze to the ground and exited the room like that._

_When he was free of the prayer room, she dashed after him, concerned and curious about the occurrence she had just overseen._

"_Hey!" She called, as she caught up and slowed her pace to a walk so as to stay by his side. What was that? Has that happened before? Is that why you're always so tired lately?"_

_He stopped suddenly and twisted his head, to look her in the face. His expression as wretched as he'd left the room with. "It's happened plenty of times before, it's quite draining."_

"_Why did you try to speak with them? Did you expect something out of it?" She questioned. The priests believed in what they chose, you could not force a belief on them when they already had their own. They were about the most stubborn people she'd ever met._

"_You know what's funny?" He chuckled, "I'm not really expecting anything out of them, and yet, I can't stop trying to make them see it my way. It's stupid isn't it?"_

_She pursed her lips, "No, not really, you're trying to save a life. You'd try anything to do so wouldn't you? I don't think speaking to the priests will help though, they don't see it as it's their choice; they see it as the god's choice. So see them as puppets with no free will. You'll get nothing out of them."_

"_I was aware of that from the start." He sighed. "See it as me being stupid." He continued to walk now._

"_You're not stupid. If you don't like something, than you'll want to change it wouldn't you? I'm not sure what to do about this though." She said, referring to her survival. _

"_You can run away."_

"_Perhaps, only I don't think that'll work out well to be honest.__"_

"_I knew you'd say that." He grinned. He'd asked a number of times, and so far had not got the favourable answer. _

_She grinned back, not happily, and it was a bad excuse for a grin too._

_For a while they walked in silence, but after a few minutes, he interrupted this by holding out his hand to her. "Hey, let's go, why don't we?"_

"_Eh? Where?" She was h__oping he hadn't just asked her to run off with him._

"_Don't worry, I'm not implying we run off," He said right after, as if he'd read her mind, or more likely, her expression. "To the spring, why don't we?"_

"_Right now?" She laughed, they tended to go later in the day; it was still fairly early, not yet noon._

"_Yeah, He nodded with a smile. "Why not, it's a good place to go is it not?"_

_She shook her head as she laughed, "Ah, I guess, you did mention it quite randomly though."_

"_Ah, I don't think it was that random myself." He decided, as he grabbed her hand without waiting for the yes he knew he would receive, and pulled her along to a side door that was hopefully unguarded. _

* * *

_They got to the spring later than she'd expected. They had had to use a different door to their usual one since their usual one, as it turns out, is one of those guarded around noon. They'd had to search for another one and in the end the one they chose made the path to it outside far longer, since it wasn't facing the direction of the woods. This had also meant that the need to sneak around was much more important, since the chance of someone seeing her was severely heightened. It was possible it had taken them twice as long to reach their destination._

_Once there, she knelt on the ground, eyeing the pastel coloured flowers. She found them amusing, since none of the flowers she saw in pots around the temple were quite like them. The ones at the temple were vibrant and elegant, these were simple and faded. Perhaps it was strange but she liked the look of these flowers, with their eclipse shaped petals that looked like they'd fall off at any moment, and the muted colours she believed were prettier than the vibrant shades you could find back at the temple. _

_For quite some time, she did this in perfect silence. The brunette boy had sat down by the bank, seeming to go off into his own world. He was thinking deeply, of what she did not feel like prying into. But after a while, it seemed the silence was too much to take._

"_You understand what happened before, don't you?" He asked, to break the silence._

"_Hmm, you mean the argument__ with the priests? You were trying to convince them to let me live, weren't you?" She raised her head and turned to the side, to look upon the bank he was resting on._

"_Yes, but beyond that. What I said about the gods, do you resent me for that at all?"_

_She hummed in thought, recalling the words he'd used. "You don't believe they exist."_

"_I don't see any proof that they are out there. That's what I think."_

"_And you think I might resent you for that? Even when it's their fault I'm going to die?" In spite of her words her voice was calm._

_The brunette boy bit his lip, thinking he'd used the wrong words. "I don't mean to sound mean or to insult you. But you've been raised by them, it's not impossible to have the same beliefs. Though I believe you're smarter than them."_

"_Smarter than them?" Any words he could say were cut short by her yelling that out, "How on earth can you think that? I know barely anything about anything! I'__ll admit I know much more than I once did, but I still know very little, and that is a fact. How am I smarter than the Priests?"_

"_Because you wouldn't let yourself be blinded by a dead man's words." He answered, without giving it a second thought. "Those men can only see their own beliefs, no one is allowed to have different ones, or then they'll be incorrect. What they think of the world stems from something quite literally a thousand years old. It's not written down on paper, it's in word form only their beliefs are. Do you know that? Their religion is not written down anywhere, the beliefs and rules are word of the mouth only. And it's been that way for a thousand years. What if it's turned into a game of whispers, where everything changes a little bit from person to person? A thousand years down the line, who's to say how much has changed?_

"_Maybe there never were gods or demons in the first place, or maybe there was but maybe they're dead and this whole sacrifice thing has been pointless. A waste of lives. I don't think the world will end if you live. I don't think it'll take your death to save us. I don't think any of this is correct. I don't want you to die for a false truth." _

_He ended his rant, his tone had heightened somewhat and he was shaking a little bit. He had worked himself up over the issue. But you couldn't blame him for it. It was for something serious, that someone he adored may be dead in a couple months, all for nothing._

_She lowered her gaze. "I'm not sure what to think really. Maybe certain things have altered if it really has only been passed on by words. But if they believe so strongly in their beliefs, then I don't think they'd change them. I don't think there would be any great difference from a thousand years ago to now. Maybe it's all a lie sure, but what if it is real? What if we run off and the demons really do come and kill everyone? You still have a family don't you? I'm sure mine are out there somewhere too. Its safest isn't it? To go through with the sacrifice.__" She lifted her he__ad back up, to look him in the eyes. She was being serious, only, so was he._

"_But you don't want to die, do you?" He questioned in a dead serious tone, instead of attempting a reply._

_It'd taken her by surprise, so her mouth wired itself shut, and all she could do was stare back in shock. Did she want to die? Was she fine with having such a short life, and was she fine knowing she'd leave her two most precious people behind, to wallow in sadness? Once upon a time, she would have said she didn't care, she was fine. She always knew she was going to die young, simple as that. It wasn't sad, it was a fact. But now, now it was sad. She was a good person, she deserved a long happy life, a life she could never get, no matter how much she begged or tried, her fate was sealed. She could run off, but she knew she was too terrified to do so. She'd lose the chance before she could attempt it._

"_Do you want to die?" He asked again, his tone was close to being cold. He wanted the truth out of her. He didn't want to hear,' I __think it's needed', or 'maybe it's for the best'. He wanted to know what she wanted, not what the priests wanted, not what she was told would happen, just what she wanted._

_Did she want to leave everything behind? Was she fine with it happening? It was always going to happen. That was fact._

"_Do you want to die?" He persisted._

_Did she not care to know what might happen if she lived past her eighteenth birthday? Did she not wonder what might happen if she really ran off, to a faraway kingdom where no one, demon or god, could touch her?_

"_Do you want to die?" He asked again, his tone dropping to as cold as ice._

_Did she want to die? Did she want to give up, and never try for more? Was she fine with that? Did she like that? Could she accept that? Was it good? Was it bad? Were the priests wrong about what they told her? Were they right? Was the boy in front of her correct all along?_

"_Do you want to die!?" He asked once more._

_A single tear dripped down her cheek, and before she could wipe it off, the answer was already echoing around her head._

'_I want to live.'_

_Her hands went to her face to hide the tears that begun pouring down when she let it register. She didn't want to die, the moment she knew what life held, she'd wanted to live. She just didn't want to think about it. She'd gone into denial. She sobbed for so long that her head started to pound, and she felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness. It was at this moment, when she looked ready to drop, that the brunette boy moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her crying form._

_She welcomed this and wrapped her own arms around him, sucking up the warmth that belonged to him. He brushed away hair that had fallen in front of her face, and gently kissed her on the lips. He moved away not a second after, and their eyes met then, his full of concern, hers full of sorrow. _

"_I want to live." She breathed, unable to manage higher._

"_I know." He responded, and kissed her again, stronger this time, though she did not pull away. She felt like she was about to fall apart, but in his arms it did not feel quite so bad. _

"_I__ don't want to die…" She sobbed, digging her head into his chest. She stayed in that position, listening to his heartbeat, which was beating faster than she'd expected._

"_I know." He replied as he brushed his hand down the length of hair that covered her ba__ck, which soon became a repetitive movement. _

"_What am I supposed to do?" _

"_You can run away." He answered. He'd said the words so much the meaning was almost long lost._

"_I don't know what to do, but I don't want to die. You want me to live too right?" She lifted her head, her tear filled eyes staring up into his. His expression revealed very little, he looked like he was in a state of calm, but she knew this was not so. He was terrified at the moment. He wanted her to live too; there was no need to ask. He was forcing himself to remain strong, or else she really would break._

"_I want you to live a long, happy, fulfilling life. And I know I'm not the only one." He said; referring to of course the little blonde boy, who they were quite sure, was still asleep on her bed back in the temple._

"_But that can't happen. The priests won't let it." She muttered._

"_You can always run away." _

"_No I can't, the idea scares me too much.__"_

_He paused, knowing that persisting with the idea would only get the same answer in return. He leaned down and kissed her once more. "I'm sorry I can't do anything. I'm sure you heard, one more wrong word and I'm banished, if things are like that than everything I've tried will be for naught. But I can't do more than I have. I've pushed their buttons far too much."_

"_I'm glad you tried." She smiled, or more, tried too. She was still crying, and at the attempt to pull her lips upwards, it'd brought forth another surge of tears that flowed down her cheeks. _

_As a reaction to this, he hugged her tightly, allowing her a moment of silence to calm down. When the tears stopped, she felt dazed and light headed, and she felt incredibly tired. He wiped the remaining tears and the hair that had fallen from all the shaking away. Without thinking fully, he kissed her deeply, and did not stop at just one. He kissed her again and again, strongly and passionately. Like before, they ended up on the ground, only unlike before, they became entangled, exploring each nook and cranny of each other's bodies. He allowed her to feel his warmth in a way she never had before, and doubted she would again. In the time after, they remained as they were, entwined on the flower bed, exhausted and tired, and as they had the first time they came to this spot, they fell into a deep and peaceful sleep, free of any nightmares and bad dreams._

* * *

_Streaks of light danced over her closed lids, begging her to wake. She opened her eyes, finding her bedroom was far lighter than usual. Peaking over at the curtains of her window, she found the wind had swept her curtains to the side. It'd only happened once or twice before, and it gave her room a peculiar faded colour. It meant that her window had been left open in the night, over wise no wind could have gotten in to force the curtains out of place. _

_She picked herself up and swung her legs to the side to leave them hanging off the bed. She noticed when she looked behind her that the little blonde boy was not besides her. He'd slept in her bed last night. The brunette boy had not because he'd wanted to visit his mother, he'd be returning to the temple later in the day. She was curious about where he'd wandered off to, but didn't dwell on it, knowing she'd find him sooner or later. Concentrating on the present, she hopped off the bed and headed to the window. She lifted up a hand to close it, but stopped mid movement when she noticed why it was open in the first place. The little blonde boy was sitting on the sill, seeming to be off in his own world, since he had not noticed her come up to him. The sill protruded a tad bit, so he was on it comfortably, so she had no fear of him falling._

"_Hey, how long have you been there?" She piped up, tilting her head in wonder. _

_He looked back, and to her surprise, his cheeks were covered with drying tears. Her eyes went wide as she became worried. "Why are you…?" The words slipped out before she could think. She didn't need to ask why he was crying, she already knew the answer to that. A few months had flown by since the day at the spring; her eighteenth birthday was in two weeks from today. So little time left with her. It must have been a terrifying thought. _

_He looked down, and did not attempt to reply to her. After a minute of allowing things to go on like that, she held out her hand to him, offering to help him down. He allowed her to assist him in getting off the sill, but did so in silence. He strode over to the bed and collapsed on it. She followed him and sat by his head, looking down at him, concerned, but not willing to speak until he did. _

_They must have spent half an hour in perfect silence, until the silence echoing around the room was finally severed. _

"_I don't want you to go."_

"_I know."_

"_Is there any way for you to continue living?" His voice was weak and imploring. He wanted for there to be a way for her to be saved, just like the brunette boy. But he had not been as forward with this want as the other._

"_I could run away I suppose." She replied in a light tone. She meant it as a joke, since she knew she wouldn't do that. She couldn't gather up the courage. He did not see this._

"_Why don't you? Everything will be better then."_

"_Perhaps, perhaps not." _

_Annoyed with that answer, he sat up and leaned forward, keeping himself up with his hands. "What do you mean not? If you die I'll be devastated, and don't go and think I'd be the only one. There are people who will be horrified at the idea of you dying. What is supposed to be good about you dying? What if the gods aren't real and there's no reason for you to die?" _

_She sighed and offered him a small grin. "You've been talking about that haven't you?" She was vague with her wording, but knew he'd understand._

"_He said that maybe there never were gods, or that they're gone, or that they're still there but have nothing to do with anything. Then the sacrifice will be pointless, and then you dying will be pointless!" His tone was rattled._

"_And if they are still there? What then?" She questioned her tone serious. "If I run away and it turns out they really are real, think of the havoc that will occur. It's best if I stay." _

"_Do you want to die?" _

"_No."_

"_Then why don't you try to live?" He was asking a question, but his voice had made it sound like he was begging. _

_She didn't reply right away, she gave it some thought, partly to rethink her reasons, and partly how to word them._

"_If they're real, then I'll be saving thousands of lives."_

"_But then you'll die!" He practically screamed._

_She smiled sadly at him, and said something she was surprised at herself even for saying. "What's one life to a million?"_

_He was about to speak, but the words got stuck in his throat, so he plopped back down, defeated. She patted him on the head slowly._

"_But I don't want to lose anyone else, I've already lost one mum, I don't want to lose another." He muttered, she wasn't sure if he'd said it to himself, or to her, but decided she would reply any way. _

"_Loss is a natural part of life, isn't it?"_

"_But this isn't natural, and besides, I don't want to deal with it anymore. I've already suffered through it enough."_

"_From when your mum died?" She inquired, in spite of knowing it to be the answer._

_He forced back tears which started immediately after she'd spoken. "It wasn't just her you know. I just didn't want to talk about it. I was with my grandma, we were buying food from the market, and the house caught on fire. Both my parents and my two aunties were in there. All of them perished in the flames. We had to live with another family from then on, since we couldn't survive by ourselves. She was too old, and I was too young. She died a short time after we moved in; I was told it was the shock of losing her two children and their family. I started coming to the temple shortly after that. I told everyone not to mention grandma, though I never mentioned it to anyone else the others I lost." At the end of his explanation, he lost his battle with his tears, and begun pouring his eyes out._

"_I don't want to lose anyone else!"_

_She ruffled his hair. "It'll be alright." She lied._

"_No it won't! I don't want to lose you when there might be no reason in it! I don't want to lose another mother; I don't want to lose you when I still haven't gotten taller than you. You always said I would, but look__,__ I haven't! God I know it's stupid, but I can't stand it." He buried his head in her chest and cried some more. _

"_It'll be alright..." She lied once more; the words had formed themselves robotically on her lips._

"_No it won't be, I already told you that."_

"_I know, but please, let me believe in this lie, for at least a little longer."_

_He stopped his crying and looked up at her. "You're strange, you know." He forced a smile. _

"_But it's a good kind of strange isn't it?"_

_He smiled for real this time, a smile that was barely there, positively tiny. "Yeah."_

_She smiled back, a big one full of happiness. She kissed him softly on the forehead. "You're a good son, so, things will be alright."_

"_Yeah." He replied, neither was sure whether that was correct. But for the moment, they were content to live the lie._

* * *

_On the day before her eighteenth birthday, she was standing on the edge of a balcony. The very first one she had come out onto, watching the golden sun sink into the horizon. She was enjoying her last moment of peace. She'd been in this spot for approximately an hour. In perfect stillness and perfect silence. _

_That was until, a pair of hands came up from behind her and made all turn to darkness. She jumped, but calmed down immediately when it hit her what was going on. She spoke aloud his name, and as a result the hands were removed. _

"_You know anyone else would've mistaken you for a vertical river. It's a weird sight, I can tell you that__." The brunette boy laughed as__ he moved to her side, his back to the parapet. _

"_Well anyone else if they'd seen you walking around would have mistaken you for a pile of mud." She smiled warmly at him. They laughed, remembering the time he'd given her a wonderful complement, and she'd returned it by telling him his hair looked like mud. Back in the time where she couldn't make head nor tail out of complements and insults._

"_So, have you decided what to do?__" He asked, any lightness that had been there previously was demolished by the grim tone and stare present right now._

_She wiped the smile off her face as the words left his lips. "Yes." Day and night she'd been begged to run away, the other two had planned it all out, worked out how to do everything, and what to do if there were any screw ups. _

"_And what have you decided to do?" He swallowed a lump in his throat, fearing the worst._

"_I'm going to stay." Her tone was unwavering, showing she had built up her resolve._

"_But you'll die." He remarked, his eyes filling with sadness as he spoke. _

"_I know. But if the priests are correct, I live, and this kingdom will die at the hands of demon gods. And tell me, what's one life to a million?"_

"_B__ut it's your life, and to me that's worth a million." He stepped closer, his eyes pleading with her to change her answer._

"_And I'm sure__ that plenty of those million are worth a million to others. I don't want to destroy that. So I've decided to go through with the sacrifice." She held his stare, his pained, horrified stare, without faltering. It almost broke her._

"_You really are fine with that?" He questioned, like it just couldn't be true._

"_No, but I've decided I must do what is best. This is my choice; I'm not being forced to make it." She took a step closer to him, and brushed his cheek, before leaning in close enough for their lips to touch. "I'm sorry." _

_Before she could move away, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close._

"_And that's your final answer?" _

"_Yes."_

_He frowned, before pulling her in for a kiss. "But I don't want you to die."_

"_I know, you're not alone. And though it breaks my heart, if my death will save many, then I'm willing to sacrifice myself for them."_

"_Brave aren't you?"__ He chuckled, only there wasn't a single ounce of happiness in it. He was devastated. _

"_I suppose." She said, as she dug her head against his chest._

_For a long time, neither said anything, instead they held each other tightly; revelling in what moments they had left together. But soon, something that had to be said worked its way to the surface._

"_Do you love me?" The brunette boy asked; he struggled to keep his voice steady. _

_She leaned her head up, to look him in the face, as even after so many years, he was still much bigger than her. She kissed him on the lips once softly by going up on her toes. _

"_I'm not sure how to answer; I've never been sure how to word what I feel. But, I know how you feel, and I'm sure without having so say it that you know how I feel. So I think words are irrelevant." _

_A tiny smile lit his features. Even worded vaguely, he knew what she meant. He leaned his head down and kissed her on the lips, a spark of happiness lit within him._

"_Hey, am I still odd to you?" He asked; his tone light, and very curious._

"_Am I still the nice kind of strange?" She asked back, using the same tone, with a hint of all knowing-ness inside it._

"_Yes." He answered with a chuckle and a bright smile._

"_Then the answer's yes." She giggled, before leaning into a kiss once more._

_They stayed like that until the sun disappeared beneath the horizon. Meeting each other's lips, whilst revelling in childhood memories. From the time they met, where he first said her hair was like a beautiful cascading river, and the first time she'd told him his hair looked like mud. To her complaining about him being so much bigger than her. To when he first brought the little blonde boy with him, who's eyes still sparkled bright brighter than her own beautiful gems. When she'd called him odd, and he'd called her strange, to her getting confused over the simplest things, to the fun times they'd had together, and the sad. They remained in their own reality, where time did not exist, and all was well._

_When the sun was long gone, and everything was pitch black, they walked back inside, hand in hand. To go to sleep on the same bed, for the very last time._

**XVIII**

_Morning came too soon, and the priests entered the room a few hours before noon. They found her wrapped up in blankets, with her head digging into the chest of the brunette boy, and holding hands tightly with the blonde boy, who's own head rested on her abdomen. She was woken and taken away; no one said a word, because they knew that by this point it would have no meaning. And even if they tried to say something, the sadness they felt would have forced the words back down their throats. _

_She was led to a room where a group of women dressed her in a magnificent dress the colour of the ocean. They painted her arms and legs in peculiar wave like patterns, which she was transfixed by during the time they worked on her. Black and red dyes painted her eyes, something which she did not understand the point off. They wrapped her arms in honey coloured satin, which connected to the dress by clasps on her shoulders. A sash the colour of gold was fashioned around her waist, which partly hid one of the slits on her dress. Many bangles went around her ankles and wrists, which jangled each time she moved even slightly. The final touch were a heavy golden choker and tiara encrusted with jewels._

_When she saw herself in the mirror in the corner of the room, if it were not for the fascinating blue hair that was longer than she was tall, she would not have recognised herself. _

_This was the day, her final day in this world. For today, she was to fulfil her role in life, and become the sacrifice that would save this land from the gods turned demons who'd once ruled this land with terror._

* * *

She strode through the halls, with an expression of indifference. She felt she would be able to stand it better that way. Stand the idea of leaving behind those who cared so much for her, to stand the idea that now they would feel hopeless. The idea that there was a way for her to live, was now dashed, for now, there was no way for that idea to come into fruition. It was too late.

She ignored the stares, the sympathetic ones that made her heart sink, the angered ones, that reminded her of her friends, and what they would be feeling at the moment. Even the happy ones she ignored, for they were wrong, yet right at the same time, and she couldn't stand them. She had to be brave, else she'd try to run, they would make her fail, she knew.

She had always known this day would come, so there was no reason to feel fear, anger or sadness. She wanted to portray that, because she knew she would be lying, if she said that was how she felt.

She was scared, petrified, of the fate that awaited her at the end of the hall.

She was angry, that so many people were willing to let her die, and could be happy about it too.

She, most of all, was sad. Because she didn't want to leave her friends, she wanted to live past this day; she wanted to experience all life had to offer. But now, that would never happen.

Perhaps it was a plus that in doing this, she would save thousands. That was the one thing which had allowed her to hold her resolve, and do this. But, this was undeniably sad, so, it did not make her feel happy.

She was not supposed to be scared, and yet here she was, scared to death. She had spent years, expecting this to happen; knowing it would, exactly in the fashion it was happening. And yet, she was so scared she could feel herself shaking, and could only hope no one else noticed it. She could have run away, the opportunity was there; maybe she should have taken it. The thought went around her head in a loop, with her thinking it and then going off at herself for thinking such, she knew she would have never gone through with it. She would hesitate, as she did, and the chance would be lost. Things would have gone the exact same way even if she had wanted to take the chance. Her death was unavoidable.

In the minutes she had left, she needed to gather her courage, so she did not run.

As the hall ended, it went out to a grand door of gold, it was opened wide; the walls were hidden by the many people standing in front of it. Outside was no better, it was worse. A huge crowd had gathered to see the sacrifice, as if seeing it with their own eyes would grant them more luck, when the gods rained it down. She had never expected to have so many spectators at her own death. She did not know if this bothered her, perhaps it should have been expected. Only once in a hundred years, does a death like hers occur.

She looked to the sky, away from the horrible people gathered on the grass, it was sunset, and the sun was a perfect golden orb, lighting all it touched the same shade of gold. It was a magnificent sight. She'd never seen a more beautiful sunset; it was rich, warm and fiery. Perhaps the gods had created it, to be the perfect backdrop to their wanted sacrifice's death. When she returned her gaze to the people watching her expectantly as she slowly walked to the river that ran parallel to the temple, she noticed how golden they look, and realised in turn, that her pale skin must look a stunning gold itself. What a sight she must be, she thought then. Perhaps it was why people were staring at her so intensely.

As she passed them, she spotted a large variation of people that shocked her. She'd never seen people like this. There were some kids, dashing between adults legs to get to the front, to get a better look at her; they gazed at her like she was a goddess. There was a sickly old woman, looking at her sadly as she shook her head. A woman with eyes just like hers, stared at her with dead eyes as she leaned on a man with dark eyes, who's expression was no different to anyone else's. There was a girl, who was amazingly beautiful, and about her age. She wondered what life may be like if that girl had been the sacrifice instead of her. Would she be able to take it? Or would she have tried to run off?

At the end, she reached the bank of the river, and stared into the eyes of the priest standing in front of her. He was standing waist deep in the middle of the shallow river, his eyes were serious, and in his hand he grasped a long ornate knife. She knew what was expected of her from here on in. She confidently stepped into the water, which was absolutely freezing. She did react to this in an outside manner. She stopped in front of the priest, who made her turn around. She closed her eyes and took in a breath to ready herself, she did as she was told, opening her eyes in front of the gigantic crowd, which she could see now were bigger than she could ever have imagined. The priest used one hand to grasp her flowing hair; the other raised the knife, and cut it off from her shoulders. He held it high, for all to see, before releasing the azure strands and letting them disappearing in a gust of wind.

Her eyes were fixated on the crowd, as if hoping to see a familiar face, but she did not see one. For they would not be here, they would never be here. They would not want to witness the saddest event of her short life.

She wished that she could look upon them one more time. To go to a faraway make believe kingdom one more time, to look at the land from a balcony way up high, to play among the flowers and swim in the spring that shone like starlight once more. To speak with her dear friends, to laugh with them. She wished to steal a pair of lips, and feel the warmth and love that emanated from them; she wished to be held close, to feel like nothing could ever go wrong. She wished she could see one of their smiles one last time.

But that was not to be, for today she was to die.

She took one last breath, as the knife was pressed to her throat. All turned to black, as the river turned to red, and she was lifted into the air, the golden sun shining on her cold pale skin.

* * *

**Sorry it had a negative ending, that was the main image that appeared in my head whilst listening to the song.**

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.**

**Reviews shall be much appreciated, I'd like to know what you think of the story, positive or negative.**

**Sayonara,**

**~Serah Villiers Valentine**


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